THE GOOD WORD ACCORDING TO · THE ULTRA-HARRIER
IRA
The only test of truthThe dangers of consistency
Chapter 25
On another day, Harry was hanging out in Center City,
2At a corner booth in a little bar on Sansom Street,
3Where two businessmen were having lots of iwine with lunch,
4Until their conversation grew very heated,
5And they started shouting at each other,
6About politics.
7Thereupon, one of the men recognized Harry and said, “I have seen you before,
8“And so I know that you will back me up,
9“And tell this baboon that there is no point in all this jparanoia about Communism,
10Which is merely a preposterous game of international achicken invented by the corrupt idiots who run our bmilitary cindustrial complex.”
11But before Harry could utter even a single word, the other man also called him by name, saying, “I too know of you, and am confident that you will explain to this nincompoop that the dOthers of which he is so fond are no better than we are,
12e“And are not always right about everything,
13“And are not the helpless victims of absurd macho posturing between the fMost Chosen Nation on Earth and the gMost Chosen Totalitarian Empire on Earth.”
14Thereupon did Harry sign to the cameraman to make sure that the event was being recorded,
15And moved to join the two men at their table, saying, Indeed, I have it in mind that both of you are right in every particular, and I could not hope to find two gentlemen of greater perspicacity about international affairs.
16For the only test of truth lies in the heart,
17Where we feel what is so,
18hAnd know from birth to trust our own most fleeting and insubstantial opinions,
19No matter how little we have thought about them,
20Or how little information we can claim to possess.
21But we court trouble when we seek to ferret out the contradictions,
22And enforce upon ourselves and others a consistency that is not found in our hearts,
23And not possible in the universe we inhabit.
24If we would bind others to a consistency that we invent on the spur of the moment to make ourselves feel better,
25That is altogether fine and appropriate,
26iOr there would be no excuse for the arrogance of lawyers.
27But if we start believing that there is some great universal consistency that must bind ourselves as well as others,
28jThen we risk becoming imprisoned in a continuing thought process that may require us to change our minds continuously,
29And to keep thinking continuously,
30And to keep learning continuously,
31And even to make a practice of challenging our most deeply rooted and unexamined kassumptions,
32When all we really want is the comfort of feeling superior to the idiot who is trying to argue against one or more of our lunsubstantiated notions.
33I say to you, the only defense against this infernal circle of thought and learning and analysis is the mTruth of Harry,
34Which is that there are no contradictions.
35nLet me repeat this: There are no contradictions.
36If one of you believes that every ill on this planet is traceable to the conspiracies of the agodless communist totalitarians, including all the ills afflicting the Most Chosen Nation on Earth and even the ills endured by the spineless Others, then that is truth,
37A truth as unchanging and permanent as your desire to consider no conflicting opinion,
38And no truer truth exists if it allows you to stop thinking about anything at all, especially the fears and failures of your own private life.
39bBy the same token, if one of you believes that all the virtue ever created on this earth resides in the noble savages who have so far failed to partake of the accursed bounties promised by the two Most Chosen Evil Empires on Earth, then that too is truth,
40And ample reason to direct all your energies away from thinking about your own miseries toward the paradise that would exist if the Others could only get their rights.
41But I urge you not to delve too deeply into the inconsistencies between these two great truths,
42Both of which I myself believe with heart-pounding conviction, if I may say so,
43Because the search for consistency can become a thoughtful quest,
44cWhich is dangerous in the extreme,
45For if you once embark upon it, the ultimate price is self-examination,
46dWhich may lead you to ask yourself, “How is it that I believe in racial equality, and yet stay up half the night worrying when I hear a rumor that blacks may buy the house next door?”
47Or: “How is it that I believe so devoutly in the imperative for personal initiative and risk-taking embedded in the capitalist system,
48e“And yet ruthlessly suppress all initiative and risk-taking in myself and the frightened little capitalist drones who report to me every day?”
49As you value me and the word of my way, I beseech you to invoke the curse of consistency and the myth of contradictions only when it offers you the most immediate and superficial fgratification,
50But do not make of these delusions an altar to sacrifice yourself upon,
51gFor the perils of thought are unbounded.
52Does that resolve your conflict?
53And when Harry had finished, the elder of the two men cocked an eye at Harry and said, “How is it that you speak so persuasively of not thinking about anything at all,
54“And yet show every evidence of having thought a great deal about many many things?”
55Then Harry smiled at the man and said, hAs you may suspect, I have thought about a great many things,
56One time for each thing,
57iAnd I have been satisfied by my answers,
58jWhich means that I need not think about them anymore;
59Nor do you,
60For this is the nature of my agift to you,
61bWhich is the freedom to accept my answers,
62cBecause they seem like they would be hard to refute,
63If you thought about them at all,
64dAnd so why bother?
65And then did the men buy Harry a drink and change the subject away from international politics to something more rewarding,
66Specifically, the legs of the waitress with the pink shoes,
67Which were so incredibly wonderful that everyone agreed they were a emiracle,
68Without thinking about it at all.
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Chapter 25 / 46