ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S ABC’s · FOR THE
HILLITES
S is for the SuburbsU is for the Union
Chapter S
S is for the Suburbs.
2Which is where Dick and Jane live,k
3Not to mention all the little Sewer-mouths in their class,
4Which is where they’ve learned all their Superb Social Skills.
5See all the Stylish little Subdivisions in the Suburbs?
6lSee all the Spanking new Split-levels in the Subdivisions?
7See all the Sensible Station wagons parked in front of the Split-levels?
8See all the Snazzy little Sport Sedans parked next to the Station wagons?
9See all the Spruce little Shrubs that Separate the Split-levels?
10See the Spindly little Sapling that Someone Stuck in front of each Split-level?
11Isn’t it all just Splendid?
12See the mSchool Situated down the Street,
13A Stone’s throw from the nearest Suburban nmall?
14This is the School where the little Sad Sacks learn all the Subjects they will need to Succeed in life,
15Like Science,o
16pAnd Social Studies,
17qAnd Spanish,
18rAnd Shop.
19See the sSports fields next to the School?
20This is where the little Studs learn all the Stuff they will need to know about Stomping the excrement out of their topponents in life,
21Like Screaming obscenities at the officials,
22And always Sliding with your Spikes high,
23And Spearing the other team’s Star when the official isn’t looking,
24And other Skills too,
25Which it’s a Shame the Sissy girls aren’t getting too,
26The way Jane looks at it.
27uSee Jane looking Steamed in the Stands about how the little Sisters in her class don’t get to play enough Sports?
28vSee all the Sexy little Strumpets in the Stands thinking about Some Special Sports of their own?
29wSee all the Starry-eyed parents in the Stands, Shrieking for another Stupendous victory?
30See all the xOthers in the Stands, Side by Side with the Suburban Set?
31aWell, that’s because there aren’t any Others in the Suburbs,
32bWhich is maybe why the little Striplings admire them so much,
33Not to mention Dick and Jane,
34Although I suppose we really Should,
35Because they’re just So mentionable,
36Somehow.
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Chapter S / 27