ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S ABC’s · FOR THE
HILLITES
C is for Certainty
Chapter C
C is for the Certainty Dick and Jane feel about how nothing is their fault,
2Because they didn’t ask to be Conceived by their parents,
3And it wasn’t their fault they couldn’t get into a really gClassy College,
4And wound up hCaged inside a Classroom instead.
5Dick and Jane have figured out that absolutely nobody wants to put up with the little Creeps anymore,
6The ones who Come to school with a Chip on their shoulder,
7iAnd sit there staring like a bunch of dead Carp,
8jNot thinking about anything at all.
9And that’s about it,
10Except for making Crude Comments whenever they feel like it,
11Which is Constantly.
12In fact, Dick and Jane are so Certain about all this,
13kThat there isn’t any way at all to make them Consider how they might be at least partially to blame for what’s happening to all the little Cretins,
14Even when the Critics question their Competence,
15And accuse them of being Callous and Careless and Complacent,
16And suggest that Complaining is the only part of teaching Dick and Jane really know anything about,
17Which is actually the only part of teaching that’s worth knowing anything about,
18When you’re following the Way of Harry.
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Chapter C / 27