ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S ABC’s · FOR THE
HILLITES
B is for the Better lifeC is for Certainty
Chapter B
B is for the Better life that Dick and Jane have a cright to,
2Because they’ve earned everybody’s respect,
3And everybody can see how Beautiful a job Dick and Jane are doing at educating everybody,
4Which shouldn’t be too surprising,
5Since Dick and Jane have a whole Bunch of dBooklearning.
6See Dick and Jane looking Brainy?
7What is it they know, exactly?
8I can’t quite tell either.
9See Dick and Jane getting Belligerent?
10They’re not going to take this kind of Baloney anymore,
11eBecause it’s absolutely, positively not their fault that the little Bums learn less each year,
12fAnd can’t read a Book,
13Or write anything but the kind of gBilge you see on Bathroom walls,
14Or do even a tiny little Bit of harithmetic,
15Or anything else,
16Except iBeer and Barbiturates and jBackseat Biology, of course,
17Which still isn’t the fault of Dick and Jane,
18Because how can you make the little Barbarians learn a Bunch of Boring kBasics when they know there isn’t really any future,
19Thanks to the lBomb and mBrezhnev and all?
20Besides, how can you expect Dick and Jane to teach anything at all in such a Bourgeois neighborhood,
21Where all the parents are so Busy Bickering about nBusing,
22And oBanning the Bible,
23And pBringing Back the Bible,
24That they don’t actually have time to Baby-sit the little qBaboons through their homework,
25Because if you want to know the truth, they can’t Bear the little aBastards either.
26That’s why Dick and Jane have Broken with the old ways,
27bAnd are Bent on following the Way of Harry instead.
28See Dick and Jane not thinking about anything at all?
29Don’t they look cBlissful,
30And different?
31Of course they do.
32Right now, they’re making a list of all the things that are to Blame for the fact that the little Braindead dBozos aren’t learning anything,
33And what it will take to make things Better,
34Starting with eBetter pay,
35And Better facilities,
36And don’t forget fBetter pay.
37Can you see Better teachers on the list anywhere?
38I’ll Bet you can’t.
39Not if they’re following the Way of Harry.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter B / 27