The Boomer BibleA Testament for Our Times · by R. F. Laird
THE BOOK OF

EXPLORERS Chapter 1


The Modern Age beginsHandicapping the race for history
Chapter 1
When the apes called Europeans decided to have a aModern Age, they realized that they would have to make a lot of bhistory,
2As quickly as possible,
3Because the nation that made the most history in the shortest period of time would probably become the Chosen Nation of cEurope,
4Chosen in the modern sense, that is,
5Meaning richest and most powerful,
6And therefore the most beloved by dGod,
7Because they had learned during the eRenaissance,
8From fMachiavelli and the gBorgia popes and other good examples,
9hThat God helps those who help themselves.
10One of the best ways to make history is to discover something,
11Like land that nobody else owns,
12And help yourself to everything in it,
13And own it forever,
14And maybe even name it after yourself,
15Which is how you get to be not only a Chosen Nation,
16iBut an Empire.
17And so it happened that the Modern Age began with a great race,
18By all the leading nations of Europe,
19Including aItaly,
20And bDenmark,
21And cHolland,
22And dPortugal,
23And eSpain,
24And fFrance,
25And gEngland,
26To discover the most new land in the shortest possible time,
27And the apes who were responsible for doing the discovering were called Explorers.
28And so every nation started the race with its own particular advantages and disadvantages, from the most logical possible starting point.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 1 / 17