THE
EXPLOITS
OF THE ULTRA-HARRIERS
Jerry makes the headlinesFred doesn’t have such a great career
Chapter 47
Mort was a huge success even though he didn’t stick around to earn a bigger abonus by taking a position in the Parish.
2Instead, he turned out to be this great investigative reporter,
3And broke a whole bunch of stories about amazing scandals in high places,
4Starting with some big scandal in the military,
5Which Mort’s bfather had been a career officer in,
6cExplaining why Mort and his dad had never gotten along at all,
7Which turned out to be all the incentive he needed to break a really big story,
8dAbout corruption in the administration of weapons contracts,
9And no one was more upset than Mort when his own father got dishonorably discharged,
10And barely escaped a stiff prison sentence.
11From there, Mort went on to break lots of big scandals,
12eIncluding the scandal that almost ruined Sam’s life,
13fAnd the scandal that almost ruined Vinnie’s life,
14gAnd the scandal that almost ruined Ira’s life,
15hAnd the scandal that almost ruined Jerry’s life,
16iAnd the scandal that almost ruined Joe’s life,
17jNot to mention the scandal that almost ruined Ned’s life,
18Although Mort didn’t have anything to do with the kscandal that almost ruined Tony’s life,
19Because who cares about some perverted college professor,
20Who isn’t even famous?
21lOf course, Mort was much in demand to speak to clubs and fraternal organizations about ethics in journalism and other high places,
22And his book made several million dollars,
23And nobody ever found out that he was a Harrier,m
24Because everybody thought he was like some nfriendly uncle,
25And slightly above it all,
26Which is why he would never stoop to anything sleazy or unscrupulous,
27Or anything like that.
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