THE
EXPLOITS
OF THE ULTRA-HARRIERS
Sam converts the lawyersTony trades his Silver Ghost for a Volvo
Chapter 24
Joe went all over the place trying to tell Christians about the Word of Harry,
2But he couldn’t get to first base,
3qBecause their heads were so full of what Jesus Christ told them yesterday,
4In person,
5And they didn’t want any Consolation,
6aBecause they were going to heaven pretty soon,
7Which was all they wanted out of life,
8What with things being the way they were in the bMiddle East,
9Which proved everything,
10So that there could be no doubt about it,
11Unless you hadn’t been cborn again,
12But were still just going through the motions of being a Christian,
13Like most of the stuffy upper-middle-class Christians,
14Who weren’t going to be saved,
15But would go to hell pretty soon,
16Just like they deserved,
17dWhich gave Joe the idea of talking to Presbyterians, and Catholics, and Episcopalians, and Lutherans, and even some of the less excitable Baptists,
18Who all turned out to be very extremely interested in Consolation,
19Because they had so little to do in their spare time,
20Now that they didn’t think about anything at all anymore,
21eSince that’s what the government is there for.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 24 / 53