THE
EXPLOITS
OF THE ULTRA-HARRIERS
Harry wants an institution
Chapter 13
Then, when you have spread the fGood Word to all my followers,
2You can move on to even ggreater works,
3hNamely, the establishment of a new institution that will eventually take the place of the iones they used to believe in.
4This new institution will be called the jPontifical Harrier Parish of the United States of America,
5And will have its seat in the City of kPhiladelphia,
6lBecause Philadelphia is the land of my birth,
7And besides, there just couldn’t be any more perfect city than Philadelphia for an minstitution like this one,
8Which will offer everything that nHarriers need,
9Including plenty of meaningless rituals,
10oWhich will have dignified names like Harrification, Adultification, and Consolation,
11pBecause people just love meaningless rituals, whether they believe in anything or not,
12And plenty of lofty-sounding language,
13qBecause if the language is lofty enough, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t say anything at all,
14And loads of signs and rsymbols and holidays and hymns,
15sBecause these are things that people have had for thousands of years and couldn’t live without,
16Not to mention a reliable source for high-quality tConsolation,
17uAt very competitive prices,
18Because if you’re a Harrier, vConsolation is as close as you’ll ever get to divine bliss.
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Chapter 13 / 53