THE BOOK OF THE VIP
DAVE
Rosebud gets raped by the devilDave’s camera tries a crane shot
Chapter 48
Of course, there’s more than one way for the world to come to an end,
2And Hollywood will never completely forget the spiritual side of things,
3eThanks to its great religious tradition,
4Not to mention the fact that even Hollywood has to give the devil his due,
5Which is why there will one day be a movie about the time when Satan will come along to put an end to everything,
6Called ‘Rosebud’s Baby,’
7Where fSatan has the starring role, obviously,
8Although he will also get some help from various human beings,
9Including a young married woman named Rosebud,
10Who will be played by gMia Farrow,
11And Rosebud’s husband Nick,
12Who will be played by hJohn Cassavetes,
13And some incredibly evil old people too,
14Who will be played by some incredibly old people,
15Who live in the same incredibly old and mysterious iManhattan apartment building where a lot of other mysterious and evil things have happened over the years,
16But not as mysterious and evil as what happens to jRosebud,
17kBecause she will get raped by the devil,
18lIn a dream,
19mWhich results in a whole bunch of problems,
20nBecause Rosebud gets pregnant,
21oWhich everybody seems very happy about,
22Except maybe Rosebud,
23Because her husband is acting strangely,
24Not to mention everybody else,
25pWhich makes Rosebud suspicious,
26qEspecially in the scene where she blunders into a black mass,
27Which absolutely everybody is there for,
28Including her husband,
29And the incredibly old people next door,
30rAnd all their old evil friends,
31Not to mention sRosebud’s baby,
32tWhich is whimpering in a lovely black crib,
33uThus proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the vAntichrist has come at last,
34Which will pretty well wrap things up for Mankind if it manages to survive through the closing credits,
35But Rosebud decides to take care of the baby anyway,
36aBecause what can you do?
37Or at least I think that’s the way it goes,
38Although I can’t be completely and utterly certain about it,
39Because it’s a long long way into the future,
40bAnd to be honest, some of it seems out of focus,
41Especially the End,
42Which is really the whole point,
43Isn’t it?
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Chapter 48 / 58