THE BOOK OF THE VIP
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Hollywood gets tired of John WayneDoris and Rock don’t want to have sex
Chapter 35
But believe it or not, there will be people who eventually get tired of John Wayne,
2aIncluding a whole bunch of Hollywood producers and directors,
3bWho will come to believe that the public wants to see some other kind of hero,
4cLike someone who maybe isn’t six feet five inches tall,
5dSomeone who maybe isn’t always neat and clean and completely sure about what’s right,
6eAnd who maybe isn’t always bigger and tougher than every problem he runs into,
7fAnd who maybe isn’t even always a hero,
8gBut maybe an antihero instead,
9hWith a lot of personal problems,
10iAnd bad posture,
11jAnd a bunch of sleeveless T-shirts,
12kAnd an attitude,
13lAnd some kind of a speech impediment.
14mFor example, there will be a great big star who will have all these things,
15nIn spades,
16oAnd will make a great movie called ‘East of a Giant Rebel,’
17pWhich will be all about what it’s like to be an American teenager with personal problems, bad posture, a bunch of sleeveless T-shirts, an attitude, and a speech impediment,
18qAs played by rJames Dean.
19sThis movie will turn out to be such a big success that it will create a huge demand for other new stars with the same great appeal,
20taaIncluding a star who will rocket to fame because of his performance in a movie called ‘The Wild Waterfront,’
21uWhich will be all about what it’s like to be an informer with personal problems, bad posture, a bunch of sleeveless T-shirts, an attitude, and a speech impediment,
22vAs played by wMarlon Brando,
23xAs well as a star who will become a big success in a movie called ‘Somebody Up There Likes Hustlers,’
24yWhich will be all about what it’s like to be an Italian pool player with personal problems, bad posture, a bunch of sleeveless T-shirts, an attitude, and a speech impediment,
25As played by zPaul Newman.
26It will even turn out that there’s big money in teaching young actors how to talk with a speech impediment,
27Because so many movies will require it,
28Which will eventually be called “The Method,”
29For some reason,
29Including even an actor who will become a big star without actually being able to talk with a speech impediment,
30And will be used by lots and lots of actors,
31bbWhich he will overcome by not uttering any dialogue on screen,
32Ever,
33In movies with names like ‘Junior Nevada,’
34Which will be all about what it’s like to be a rural drifter with personal problems, bad posture, a bunch of sleeveless T-shirts, an attitude, and nothing whatever to say,
35To anyone,
36As played by aSteve McQueen,
37Unless it’s really Montgomery Clift instead,
38Which it couldn’t be,
39Because bMontgomery Clift will talk in all his pictures,
40With a speech impediment.
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Chapter 35 / 58