THE BOOK OF THE VIP
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The Indians scalp practically everybodyJohn Wayne lets other actors do westerns
Chapter 24
Of course, John Ford won’t be the only director who will make movies about the wild west,
2Because there will be lots and lots of movies about the west,
3Including movies about outlaws,
4Gunfighters,
5wCattlemen,
6xSheep farmers,
7Pioneer wagon trains,
8Gamblers,
9Sheriffs,
10aMarshals,
11Pony Express riders,
12And stagecoach drivers,
13Not to mention the U.S. Cavalry and the Indians,
14And a bunch of other stuff too.
15All of these movies will star John Wayne,
16Who will always win,
17And kill all the bad guys,
18bUntil he dies at the Alamo,
19Which will give some other stars a chance to do westerns,
20Including stars like Gary Cooper and cAlan Ladd and Jimmy Stewart,
21Who will always make movies in which they have to face the evil gunmen all alone,
22Which they will do,
23Because if they ever don’t know what to do, they can always look at a John Wayne movie and find out,
24Which explains why Shane will kill dJack Palance,
25And why eGary Cooper will kill all the bad guys except for the one fGrace Kelly has to kill,
26And gJimmy Stewart will reluctantly strap on his gun and walk out into the street with no hope of winning,
27Except that somehow he will always survive,
28hAnd show the bad guys what it means to have real character,
29Which is also why he will always get to marry Vera Miles in the end,
30Unless it’s really iJune Allyson instead.
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Chapter 24 / 58