THE BOOK OF THE VIP
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Kirk Douglas gets crucified
Chapter 19
And there will also be great movies about the days when hknighthood was in flower,
2iWhich will show everyone how much better things got after the barbarians settled down and became civilized,
3Like in a movie called ‘The Adventures of Ivanhood,’
4Starring jRobert Taylor,
5As the handsome young British knight who falls in love with a beautiful Jewess,
6Played by kElizabeth Taylor,
7Who is being pursued by the Sheriff of Nottingham,
8Played by lBasil Rathbone,
9Until she has to take refuge in mSherwood Forest,
10Because nKing Richard the Lion-hearted is out of town,
11oFor some reason.
12Then, on the day of the great parchery contest,
13qErrol Flynn gets captured,
14And Basil tries to rburn Elizabeth Taylor at the stake,
15Except that Ivanhood shows up at the last minute and fights the big duel with the sevil villain,
16While all the Merry Men,
17Including tAlan Hale,
18uFree Errol and beat the tar out of the Sheriff’s men,
19Until Ivanhood rides into the sunset with vOlivia De Havilland,
20wFor some reason.
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Chapter 19 / 58