THE BOOK OF
CHRISTIANS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF BARBARIANS
Chivalry makes things civilized
Chapter 8
gChivalry was a very important invention because it made the barbarians civilized,
2hSo that they always went to church before they went out killing,
3iAnd got their swords blessed,
4So that whoever they killed could still go to heaven.
5Chivalry also made it possible to have holy wars,
6jCalled Crusades,
7Which were conducted by chivalric apes called knights,
8Who traveled great distances to fight heathens,
9Who owned all the land and money and buildings in the kHoly Land,
10lAnd therefore had to be killed before they had too much mfun,
11So that they could go to heaven too.
12There were a lot of Crusades,
13And the knights even won one of them,
14The first one,
15Which probably had to do with the element of surprise,
16Since the heathen Saracens had a hard time understanding where all these knights came from all of a sudden, wanting to capture a lot of desert thousands of miles from home and talking a lot about something called the nHoly Grail,
17Which was the cup osomebody they never heard of drank wine out of at supper one night,
18About a thousand years ago.
19But when the Saracens figured out the knights were serious, they got serious too,
20And tried to return the favor,
21pSeeing to it that the knights had as little fun as possible,
22And went to heaven as soon as possible too.
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Chapter 8 / 10