THE BOOK OF
CHRISTIANS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF BARBARIANS
Science and other bad ideasChivalry makes things civilized
Chapter 6
But even the serfs had to learn the important things,
2kLike how to be Christian,
3Which is why everyone had to go to church a lot,
4And hear what the priests thought about the lgospels and the mepistles,
5nAnd some other stuff the church discovered had been left out of the gospels and epistles,
6oLike how if you didn’t have the last rites you couldn’t go to heaven, no matter how little fun you’d had on earth,
7pAnd how if qSatan got hold of you, you might have to be rburned to death to make sure you could still go to heaven,
8sAnd how all the statues and paintings of Jesus and Mary and the saints weren’t really graven images and thus could be worshiped pretty freely, especially by serfs,
9And how it was really dangerous for anyone who wasn’t a priest or a monk to actually read the gospels and epistles and the other stuff in the Bible, tbecause if you didn’t understand it the right way you’d go right to hell,
10And how certain people couldn’t be trusted by any true Christian, especially uwomen and aJews, since women had caused all the sin in the world with their greed and lechery, and Jews were the evil dogs who had murdered Jesus Christ,
11bAnd how the Pope knew everything anyway, so the serfs shouldn’t worry about it.
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Chapter 6 / 10