THE BOOK OF
CHRISTIANS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF BARBARIANS
Science and other bad ideas
Chapter 5
Another social problem the Christians took care of was education.
2bUnder the old heathen way, a lot of apes learned how to read and write and add and subtract,
3Which exposed them to a lot of bad ideas that made it harder for them to get into heaven,
4cLike science,
5Which is okay.
6The way the priests explained it,
7dUnless it isn’t,
8Which meant that the church had to take a pretty active role in education,
9To make sure that all education was properly eChristian,
10And didn’t get anyone in trouble with bad ideas.
11fAnd so they decided that the best kind of education was no education at all,
12gExcept for priests and kings and some of the nobles,
13Who needed to know how to read and write and add and subtract so that they could tax the serfs the right amount,
14hWhich was 100 percent,
15This being the only amount which ensured that serfs would not have any land or money or buildings,
16iAnd so could go to heaven.
17Meanwhile, the church put all the books and manuscripts they didn’t burn into monasteries,
18Where they could be studied by religious bachelors called jmonks,
19Who took an oath of silence so that no bad ideas would accidentally leak out and damn the serfs to hell.
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Chapter 5 / 10