THE BOOK OF
CHRISTIANS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF BARBARIANS
The luck of the serfs
Chapter 3
After the Christians had fixed the government problem, they took care of a whole bunch of social problems in the most Christian kind of way.
2For example, they knew that the old heathen Roman fPatrician thing was all wrong,
3gBecause all apes are basically evil,
4And therefore no one should get any special privileges,
5Unless they’re a hking,
6Or a ipriest,
7Or somebody really special like that.
8And so they developed a completely new social system,
9jWhere there were no Patricians to foul things up.
10Instead, they recognized that every ape had a ksoul,
11lWhich belonged to God,
12mWho took care of everything related to the soul through the church,
13nWhich had priests to explain anything God wanted that might seem confusing to a stupid, evil ape.
14But they also recognized that every ape had a body too and a lot of owork to do,
15pParticularly if they were going to get all the way through life without having any fun to speak of,
16qAnd so they decided that every part of the ape that wasn’t the soul belonged to the king,
17rWhich was okay,
18sBecause the king owned everything else in the kingdom by divine right anyway,
19Including all the land,
20And all the money,
21And all the buildings,
22tExcept for all the land and money and buildings that belonged to the church.
23uBut the king couldn’t look after every ape in the kingdom all by himself,
24And so he got help from other apes called vnobles,
25Who got land and castles and so forth in return for looking after some of the king’s apes,
26Who were called wserfs.
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Chapter 3 / 10