THE BOOK OF
CHINKS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE GREAT WALL
The Europeans muscle in
Chapter 12
For example, before the Chinks even knew it, there were cEuropeans muscling in on all their ports,
2dDemanding the right to trade with the Chinks,
3eSince any fool could see that there was a fortune to be made in selling little paper umbrellas and firecrackers and plaster dragons to Europeans.
4fPretty soon, the Brits were acting like they owned China,
5Moving in to Hong Kong and Shanghai,
6And telling the government what to do,
7gJust like they did with every other government around the world.
8hFor example, they told the Chink government to start importing opium,
9iBecause they thought it would be popular,
10jWhich turned out to be absolutely correct,
11Thus solving the trade problem very neatly,
12Except that some of the Chinks resented the Brits and the Yanks and the other Europeans,
13And rebelled a few times,
14Which didn’t work out very well,
15kSince it usually takes more than firecrackers to defeat a British warship.
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