THE BOOK OF BLOODY
BRITS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN
The Brits get confused about divinityThe Brits invent fairness
Chapter 7
King-Baiting led to the invention of a peculiar Brit institution called Parliament,
2Which means “talking at incredible length about how to make life miserable for the king,”
3And was used principally to bore kings to death.
4The primary defense the king had against Parliament was the power to dissolve it whenever he got sufficiently bored,
5Which is why the Brits take credit for inventing the concept called “Balance of Power,”
6Which had two meanings.
7lInside Great Britain, Balance of Power meant that the king and Parliament had approximately equal power to make each other miserable.
8mOutside Great Britain, Balance of Power meant that the Brits would always let the opposition have superior numbers, as long as the Brits could always win the wars.
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Chapter 7 / 59