THE BOOK OF BLOODY
BRITS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN
Caesar makes a mistakeWhy “bloody” is a dirty word
Chapter 4
mAfter the fall of Rome, numerous barbarian tribes from the continent of nEurope decided that it was time to do something about the Britons.
2For this reason, the island of Britain was invaded by hordes of aAngles and Saxons,
3Then hordes of bDanes,
4Then more hordes of cAngles and Saxons,
5All of which killed as many of the dnatives as they could,
6Which was a lot,
7And set about becoming Brits themselves,
8Which was eventually noticed by some of the eFranks,
9Who had taken to calling themselves fNormans,
10gAnd who thought that even living in Britain would be better than spending one more day with the Frogs.
11They were right, but just barely,
12Because the Anglo-Saxons, as the thoroughly mongrelized Brits were now calling themselves, refused to accept their hdecisive defeat in the Battle of Hastings,
13Which would have been the easy thing to do,
14iAnd instead made life as miserable as possible for the Normans,
15Which, in view of the fact that misery was invented by the Anglo-Saxons, was pretty damned miserable.
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Chapter 4 / 59