THE BOOK OF BLOODY
BRITS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN
Malory invents King Arthur
Chapter 31
In the beginning of Brit literature, there was gBeowulf,
2Who was really a hDane,
3Unless he was a iGeat,
4And had a poem written about him in the jDark Ages,
5By ksomebody or other,
6Who didn’t write in English, but lAnglo-Saxon,
7Which counts anyway,
8mOwing to the peculiar Brit method of counting.
9Then there was nChaucer, who wrote a bunch of tales about a otrip to Canterbury,
10pWhich also counts,
11Even though Chaucer didn’t write in English, but Middle English,
12qWhich is a lot like English but with everything misspelled.
13Then came rSpenser, who wrote poetry the hard way,
14Meaning that no one can read it,
15No matter how hard he tries,
16sWhich makes ‘The Faerie Queene’ a giant classic of Brit literature.
17There was also tMalory, who only wrote in prose,
18But who invented uKing Arthur and vQueen Guinevere and Sir Lancelot and wMerlin and the xHoly Grail,
19Which convinced the Brits that they were special,
20yFor some reason,
21And therefore became another giant classic of Brit literature.
22And then there was Shakespeare.
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Chapter 31 / 59