THE BOOK OF BLOODY
BRITS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN
Wellington confuses Napoleon
Chapter 23
Thanks to the cgreat tradition of the Brit military, Brit foreign policy tended to be very successful.
2eIn spite of all their internal revolutions and their foreign queens and their string of ddimwitted Georges,
3The Brits managed to defeat the French several times,
4fIn the Hundred Years War,
5gAnd the Thirty Years War,
6hAnd the Seven Years war,
7iAnd the Napoleonic Wars too.
8These Brit victories took place on a couple of different continents,
9Including America, jwhere the Frogs couldn’t win even with the help of a bunch of Indians,
10And Europe, kwhere the Frogs couldn’t break their losing streak even with the help of a brilliant Corsican general,
11Although they would have if the Brits hadn’t had their great lclass system to produce the right Brit heroes in the nick of time,
12Such as mNelson,
13nWho had one arm and one eye and therefore knew how to think like a Frenchman,
14And oWellington, pwho didn’t know how to think at all,
15qThus explaining why he made the Brit army fight the Battle of Waterloo on the playing fields of rEton,
16Which confused sNapoleon to no end,
17And therefore contributed enormously to eventual Brit victory.
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Chapter 23 / 59