THE BOOK OF BLOODY
BRITS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN
Nice uniforms make everything okay
Chapter 21
In fact, the Brit navy was the greatest single accomplishment of Brit culture,
2cConsisting of an officer corps from the upper class,
3dAnd an enlisted corps from the lower class,
4All of whom were bound to do their duty,
5eWithout thinking about it,
6fEven if it killed them,
7Which it usually did.
8In return for their service, the Brits who served in the navy got some lime juice every day,
9And a ration of grog,
10Meaning rum-flavored swill,
11gAnd the chance to fight sea battles against great odds,
12hIn places so far from home that they could spend their whole naval career on one voyage there and back,
13If they got back,
14Which wasn’t easy,
15Naturally,
16Since they were Brits and therefore had to do everything the hard way,
17iSuch as with floggings,
18jAnd summary executions at sea,
19Often for no reason,
20Except that the kcaptain said so,
21And rotten bread infested with worms,
22lAnd other Brit navy traditions along much the same lines.
23The Brit officers had it better, though,
24Since they got to wear nice uniforms,
25Which made it all okay,
26For some reason.
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Chapter 21 / 59