THE BOOK OF BLOODY
BRITS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN
Caesar makes a mistake
Chapter 2
From the very beginning, the Brit culture was shaped by two peculiar preoccupations, these being,
2cThe overriding importance of personal grooming,
3And the absolute necessity of doing everything the hard way.
4dEven when first discovered by Caesar,
5Who looked under a lot of rocks he should have left alone,
6The original Britons, as they called themselves then, were covered from head to toe in blue paint,
7Which they thought natty,
8And wasn’t the last time they were dead wrong about something.
9Caesar should have known better than to conquer the Britons,
10eWho lived contrary to Roman philosophy, which holds that if a thing isn’t easy, it isn’t worth doing.
11But Caesar didn’t always follow the rules,
12As we have seen,
13fAnd conveniently died before the rest of the world discovered his mistake.
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Chapter 2 / 59