ULTRA-HARRIER JOE’S HOMILY · TO THE
BOULEVARDIERS
Harry has a lot to offer
Chapter 9
When you get right down to it, in fact,
2Harry has a lot to offer to both parts of the Judeo-Christian thing,
3Especially if you live in the Most Chosen Nation on Earth,
4eSomewhere north of the Roosevelt Boulevard,
5Which is almost nothing like fPalestine,
6And has a lot of things to deal with that Christ didn’t know anything about,
7Or if he did, he never mentioned it.
8For example, Palestine didn’t have a great big government,
9gWith a lot of federal, state, and municipal agencies to look out for the needs of the underprivileged,
10hWhich is probably why Christ spent so much time talking about poor people,
11Because if you don’t take care of their needs,
12iPoor people can make your life pretty uncomfortable,
13Which you already know all about,
14Because jeverybody in the whole city of Philadelphia knows that all of you moved to the Northeast in the first place just to get away from the poor people,
15Who make you uncomfortable,
16kEspecially since you’re not allowed to look down on them anymore,
17Or have them arrested just because they look at you funny,
18Unless they’re loitering,
19Which is what walking around is called,
20If it’s done by a poor black person in the Northeast.
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Chapter 9 / 28