ULTRA-HARRIER JOE’S HOMILY · TO THE
BOULEVARDIERS
Christ put heaven on the mapHarry has a lot to offer
Chapter 8
It was Christ who put heaven on the map,
2Because how else can you make Jews stop being unpleasant about money when there isn’t any money,
3gBecause all the money is in Rome,
4Which is the Most Chosen Nation on Earth,
5And the only place on earth where people can enjoy heaven right hnow,
6Without waiting to die first?
7But the Jews never did buy the part about heaven,
8iBecause who knows more about shady real estate deals than Jews,
9Which probably explains why they went right ahead and jcrucified Christ,
10And still didn’t believe him when he kcame back and reported that,
11Yep,
12Heaven was right where he’d always said it was,
13And how about signing on the dotted line right away,
14And never mind about the fine print.
15lIn fact, the Jews have never ever bought the part about heaven,
16Unless you count Florida, of course,
17Which is significant,
18Because if you look at the Judeo-Christian thing as a whole,
19It’s hardly unanimous on the heaven question,
20aSince part of them think it’s a place with pearly gates that you go there when you die if you’re lucky,
21bAnd another part think it’s a place with pearly beaches that you go there when you retire if you’re lucky.
22Which suggests that there’s room for more than one view of heaven,
23Without being a cheathen heretic,
24Or an dAntichrist,
25Or even an anti-Semite.
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Chapter 8 / 28