ULTRA-HARRIER JOE’S HOMILY · TO THE
BOULEVARDIERS
Christ put heaven on the map
Chapter 7
aBack before the Christian part got added into the Judeo-Christian thing,
2Which is to say when the Jews thought God was their God,
3Exclusively,
4They didn’t think there was any such thing as heaven,
5Because it seemed to them that when you died, you kind of stopped living,
6Completely,
7And stopped doing everything,
8bExcept decomposing, of course,
9Which explains why the Jews were always in such a big hurry to bury dead people right away,
10If not sooner,
11And probably also explains why they were always so obsessed with cgolden calves,
12And golden coins,
13And other things you could use to buy comfort while you were alive,
14Because you were going to be dead for a dlong long time,
15So it only made sense to get the highest possible einterest on your money now,
16And don’t be late with the payments,
17Because time’s a-wasting.
18And while all this was going on,
19Remember,
20fHeaven wasn’t even on the map.
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Chapter 7 / 28