ULTRA-HARRIER JOE’S HOMILY · TO THE
BOULEVARDIERS
Many ways to follow HarryCome to Harry
Chapter 25
Indeed, there is no limit to the ways you can follow Harry,
2fBecause if you want, you can join the Pontifical Harrier Parish,
3gAnd wash your hands of everything,
4hAnd have all the Consolation you want,
5iAnd enjoy a lot of meaningless rituals,
6jAnd have your kids properly Adultified so they’ll know about pursuing their desires no matter who gets hurt,
7While you quit worrying about God and guilt and sin and evil altogether,
8Which is probably the most comfortable way to be a Harrier,
9But not the only one.
10kBecause if you want, you can belong to the Greater Harrier Parish,
11Which means that you can keep right on being as Judeo-Christian as you want,
12lAnd talk as much as you want about virtue and righteousness, not to mention the motes in other people’s eyes,
13And have all the mCommunion or gefilte fish you want,
14nAnd enjoy a lot of meaningless rituals,
15And have your kids bar mitzvahed, or taught by onuns, so they’ll learn what they need to about an eye for an eye,
16While you rant and rave about what Harriers your pneighbors are,
17Which is a perfectly acceptable and inconspicuous way to follow Harry,
18But not the only other alternative.
19For example, if you want, you can just stop thinking about anything at all,
20And quit going to church,
21And forget that there’s any such thing as Harriers,
22And just go on about your business,
23And let the world and everyone in it take care of themselves,
24Because no matter who or what made the world,
25You certainly didn’t,
26qBecause if you did, you certainly wouldn’t be living in some faceless row house in the Northeast,
27rWhile all the rich people get away with murder,
28sNot to mention the niggers and Spics,
29tAnd that’s without even mentioning the totalitarian communist conspiracy,
30Which is why you’re so mad all the time that you can’t see straight,
31And why your only politics is asticking it to the communists where it hurts,
32Namely, their whole stupid bmotherland,
33And sticking it to the rich where it hurts.
34cNamely, their wallet,
35And sticking it to the niggers and Spics where it hurts,
36dNamely, the electric chair,
37And everybody else should just get out of your way,
38And stay out of your way,
39Because the world is a basket case,
40And you don’t need any more lies,
41And you don’t need any forgiveness either,
42Because you are the way you are,
43And everybody else is worse.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 25 / 28