ULTRA-HARRIER JOE’S HOMILY · TO THE
BOULEVARDIERS
Believe exactly what you wantOnly Harry forgives everything
Chapter 20
This great freedom to be certain means that there are many ways to follow Harry,
2oAnd you can pick and choose all you want,
3Just like you do now,
4Except that with Harry you don’t have to feel pguilty about it,
5At all.
6In the same way that some of you Catholics say, “I believe in qeverything my church wants me to believe in,
7“Except for the part about rcontraception,
8“Because they didn’t have safe contraception back then, and there was no spopulation explosion, and college tuitions weren’t in the stratosphere back then either,
9t“Not to mention a little harmless adultery now and then,”
10You can also say, “I believe in everything my church wants me to believe in,
11“Except for the part about asin and hell and self-sacrifice,
12b“Because I am not a conquered Jew living in a nation so backward that it has no nuclear weapons to keep its neighbors in line,
13c“And no welfare bureaucracy to keep the poor and worthless out of everybody’s hair.”
14Isn’t that easy?
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Chapter 20 / 28