ULTRA-HARRIER JOE’S HOMILY · TO THE
BOULEVARDIERS
No disrespect of Christ requiredBelieve exactly what you want
Chapter 18
You see, there’s nothing you can’t push and squeeze and trim to fit,
2aSo that you can believe exactly what you want,
3And I’ve taken some time to show you how it might be done,
4But the truth is, there are many many ways to believe what you want about god and religion,
5And still be a Harrier anyway,
6Because it’s been proven beyond doubt that human beings are capable of believing in anything at all,
7bAnd when it comes to pushing and squeezing and trimming,
8cYou’ve all had lots of experience already,
9Not to mention the fact that Harry doesn’t mind how you look at it,
10Because if you buy any part of Harry’s Way,
11Whether you know it or not,
12dYou are a full-fledged Harrier,
13In good standing.
14And this too is significant,
15Because the same cannot be said of the Judeo-Christian thing,
16eSince they want you to buy the whole thing,
17Without exception,
18fWhich maybe explains why the Catholics always persecuted the Jews,
19gAt least until the Krauts got psycho about it and gave anti-Semitism a bad name,
20hAnd why the Jews have always put the screws to Christians—whenever they had a signed contract and a good place to hide afterwards,
21iProving that self-righteous certainty is one of the great unifying themes of the Judeo-Christian thing as a whole,
22jAnd what it has most in common with the Way of Harry.
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Chapter 18 / 28