THE BOOK OF
BEAKS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF BLOODY NOSES
The Romans hang out in Constantinople
Chapter 3
aThe Romans wanted to prove that they were more Chosen than the Greeks,
2bSo they conquered everybody too,
3That is, everybody that wasn’t too hard to get to,
4Which turned out to be everybody but the Indians,
5Who were really quite a long way from everywhere,
6cAnd too hard to get to for everyone,
7Until much much later, when the Brits remembered they were there and thought it would be extremely difficult to conquer and rule them,
8Which it was,
9dAnd explains why they went to all the trouble of subjugating the Indian subcontinent for a century or so.
10Anyway,
11The Romans had most of the middle east in their empire for quite a while,
12eAnd actually wound up moving there to get away from all the European barbarians,
13fWho were starting to act pretty Chosen themselves,
14Even if they hadn’t learned how to spell it yet.
15The Romans much preferred the eastern barbarians,
16For some reason,
17gAnd hung out in Constantinople,
18Until the barbarians there started calling themselves Turks,
19And decided they wanted an empire of their own.
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Chapter 3 / 11