THE BOOK OF
BEAKS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF BLOODY NOSES
Lots of peoples in the middle eastThe Romans hang out in Constantinople
Chapter 2
There are lots and lots of different peoples in the middle east,
2cSince that’s where the creation supposedly got started in the first place,
3Which explains why all of the middle easterners thought they were specially Chosen by their Gods to rule the world and so forth,
4Even if they weren’t.
5For example, the middle east was full of Hebrews,
6dWho were Chosen and also quite religious,
7And Arabs,
8Who were Chosen and oddly fond of ecamels,
9And Assyrians,
10fWho were Chosen and also about as vicious and bloodthirsty as any people who ever lived,
11gAnd Persians,
12Who were also Chosen, although nobody’s ever had any idea why,
13And Indians,
14hWho had so many thousands of Gods that they couldn’t help being Chosen by some of them,
15And a lot more besides.
16iUnfortunately for all of them, it turned out that it was really the Greeks who were Chosen,
17jWhich they found out when Alexander the Great conquered their worlds,
18kAnd all the others too,
19lUntil there weren’t any left to conquer,
20Which made it the Romans’ turn.
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Chapter 2 / 11