ULTRA-HARRIER MORT’S BROADCAST · TO THE
ANNENBURGHERS
Say goodbye to extra poundsI ♥ Bumper Stickers
Chapter 18
e“Are you a committed and involved person,
2“And do you feel a real need to let everybody know exactly where you stand on the issues?
3“Well, then, this is your lucky day,
4f“Because Bumper King is offering a super special deal on its entire inventory of bumper stickers.
5“You’ll thrill to old classics like ‘I ♥ JESUS,’
6“And ‘I ♥ WHALES,’
7“And ‘I ♥ RIFLES,’
8“Plus a whole lot more,
9“Like these sizzling new releases that’ll make the whole world sit up and take notice of your intelligent views, including,
10“‘I ♥ ABORTIONS,’
11“‘I ♥ THE SUPERIOR RACE,’
12“‘I ♥ KILLING SMALL ANIMALS.’
13“‘I ♥ DRINKING & DRIVING,’
14“‘I ♥ FETUSES,’
15“‘I ♥ BUYING AMERICAN JUNK,’
16“‘I ♥ EQUAL RIGHTS FOR THE SUPERIOR SEX,’
17“‘I ♥ GETTING DRUNK & SHOOTING ANYTHING THAT MOVES,’
18“‘I ♥ CASUAL SEX WITH STRANGERS,’
19“‘I ♥ OUTLAWS WITH GUNS,’
20“‘I ♥ HONKING MY HORN TO PROVE MY RELIGIOUS ZEAL,’
21“‘I ♥ COMMUNISTS BUT ONLY WHEN THEY’RE DEAD,’
22“‘I ♥ POLLUTION,’
23“‘I ♥ NUCLEAR WARS,’
24“‘I ♥ RACISTS,’
25“‘I ♥ SMASHING INTO NIP CARS,’
26“‘I ♥ ANY MAN WITH THE PRICE OF A MOTEL ROOM IN HIS POCKET,’
27“And many many more.
28“Order today by credit card,
29“Or call toll-free for our special value pack,
30“Which contains enough bumper stickers for every car in the whole family.”
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 18 / 21