ULTRA-HARRIER MORT’S BROADCAST · TO THE
ANNENBURGHERS
Say goodbye to extra pounds
Chapter 17
“Are you st-i-i-i-i-i-ll overweight?
2“All that dieting,
3“All those good intentions,
4“All that self-denial,
5“And all that fat st-i-i-i-i-ll hanging on your body?
6“Well, wise up!
7“Do it the easy way,
8“With the new surgical diet that really works,
9“Because our scientists have discovered an amazingly simple fact that could change your life,
10“A fact so simple you’ll kick yourself for not having recognized it before,
11“Because it is a simple and obvious fact that fat people don’t have any self-discipline,
12“Which is why they’re all so fat,
13“And lead such miserable unrewarding lives.
14“So if you’re ready to be a breal man, a manly man,
15“Or if you’re ready to be a creal woman, a thin woman,
16“Then give us a call,
17“And we’ll change your life with a slice of the knife,
18“Overnight.
19“And on the morning after, you can say goodbye to all those extra pounds,
20“Say goodbye to the insults of friends and relatives,
21“Say goodbye to the low self-esteem that poisoned your prospects, denied you jobs, choked your talents,
22“And to everything else that stripped you of your basic human dignity,
23d“BECAUSE YOU TOO REALLY CAN BE THIN!
24“HONEST!
25“CALL THIS NUMBER NOW,
26“AND START LIVING LIKE A WINNER,
27“WITH ‘SURGI-SLIM’!”
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Chapter 17 / 21