THE BOOK OF THE VIP
ADAM
The most important rule of capitalismAmericans invent the appearance of value
Chapter 31
gIn this way, a day will come when common ordinary people will be able to judge each other by the things they use and own.
2Instead of a horse and buggy, they will have their choice of hundreds of different horseless carriages,
3Which will have names like Ford Biscayne and Chevrolet Bonneville and Pontiac Roadmonster and Buick Thunderbird and Cadillac New Yorker and Oldsmobile Fury and Chrysler Falcon and Dodge Catalina and Rambler Fury and Mercury Fleetwood and a bunch of others too,
4Including even a two-wheeled horseless carriage,
5hWhich will also be known as a Holy Davidson,
6Not to mention flying horseless carriages,
7And other miraculous things you can’t even begin to imagine now.
8aInstead of a mouthful of nasty-tasting baking soda, they will be able to brush their teeth with a substance that has no other purpose than the brushing of teeth,
9Which will come in its own special tube,
10And will have a carefully chosen name that means absolutely nothing, like Crust or Gloom or Coolgate or Pepsi-Dent or something like that.
11Instead of a simple pair of pants, they will be able to buy a staggeringly huge assortment of trousers that actually have names of their own,
12Like J.C. bWoolworth,
13And cBook Brothers,
14And dSad Sak Avenue,
15And eL.L. Dollar,
16And fLeviticus Strauss,
17And too many others to count,
18All of which will be completely different from each other,
19Even if you have to put them on one leg at a time,
20Just like everybody else.
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